February 14, 2006
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Good link from Tracy. Great pictures.
“Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It’s Dick Cheney.” –David Letterman“But here is the sad part — before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy’s request for body armor.” –David Letterman
“We can’t get bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney.” –David Letterman
“The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he’s fine. He took a little in the wallet.” –David Letterman
“Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt … making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird.” –Jon Stewart
“Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. … But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. … moms, dads, if you’re watching right now, I can’t emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don’t care what kind of lucrative contracts they’re trying to land, or energy regulations they’re trying to get lifted — it’s just not worth it.” –Jon Stewart
“The Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78- year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Wittington’s face.” –”Daily Show” correspondent Rob Corddry
“Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent.” –Jay Leno
“Cheney’s defense is that he was aiming at a quail when he shot the guy. Which means that Cheney now has the worst aim of anyone in the White House since Bill Clinton.” –Jay Leno
“I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, ‘Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?’” –Jay Leno
“When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher. No, the other guy!” –Jay Leno
Comments (12)
Excellent. Kristen and I have been having quite the time with this news story. Excellent.
Isn’t the vp solely intended to entertain? I enjoyed this story thoroughly.
BTW, I find your scale at the top for gaining weight adorable and humorous.
Too hilarious for words.
Love it when you link to my friends
I’m sort of glad you’re not IMing much these days. Otherwise I wouldn’t be getting all these comments from you, and resulting eProps!
ryc – it’s a long story, but I ended up getting them done at the Union this morning. Was up until 4 a.m. working on it, though. Yes, it was fun to write that ~ Tracy’s already threatened to write a response
Just wait ’til you hear it performed live, it’ll be a treat!
I love it…especially the one about Cheney’s popularity ratings improving!
Hey, my parents got all excited about your flyers that they got…I think they may be hiring Crawford to do some landscaping now! Beware, my dad’s an anal retentive customer…
Thanks for the laugh! These are great!
(about the pic with my car…)
I re-shot the car pic because the night I initially shot the pic, I didn’t have a tripod. When I re-shot the pic, I had the idea of getting in the shot, you know, to try to look like a thug or something. Didn’t work.
That’s also why the lighting is better in the second shot. 5″ instead of 1″ shutter speed.
I will definitely keep that in mind. It was lovely. Nice quotes.
WHAT?? I have NO memory of this post, no memory of my comments, no clue what Sarah is talking about. I must’ve started aging around this time. Sheeeeesh.